final draft project 2
here is the comment that my professor gave
1. Work on the introduction to clearly state your thesis statement.
2. Do not use ‘source’ word. Instead, use words like research or a study.
3. Include more sources that represent different viewpoints.
4. In each paragraph, have a clear topic sentence to support your argument.
5. Develop more ideas on the conclusion. What are the findings in your research? What are the implications from your research? Where would you like to apply your findings?
here is the comment from the conference with my professor that I summary
We should add Some solutions from our own opinion and should add my own opinions for each source.
What I should do is focus on how I can make the problem become better and how I can find the solution to solve it
And why I think it’s important for me. Talk how university students can have a healthy meal when they do not have enough time.What I should do to make it better and change it.
I give you an example, i usually have a class before lunch time and I only have 50 minutes to have a lunch. So what Can I do sothat I can have a healthy meal before class in 50 minutes. And we also need talk about our own solutions from my major business economic. Our audience probably university students who do not have enough time to have a healthy meal because they are busy. What we should do for the final is add our own solution and the example that I give to u I just said and how I can solve it, and in conclusion part, we should add something why I think the problem is important for university students and how I can change it, and the reason why we find those solutions list the solutions and let readers know how we can make it better. We need some solutions form me and my major,not only from the research. We need focus on solutions part and conclusion part in final draft
focus on the two parts comments and work on the final draft, the final draft would be min 1500 words~~that’s all, just fit all the comments!!!